Tuesday, April 22, 2008

No Bueno

This past weekend was pretty much a disaster.

Thursday I went swimming with Kristin and Stacey at the gym. It felt good to work out and swim. I swam so many laps I really thought I was going to throw up. I also got to get in the hot tub. I love hot tubs!

Friday I had to work both jobs. My stomach was bothering me, and I was so tired, so I left The Bronx early. I went over to Mom’s because she was having a cookout for Aunt Lana’s birthday. I ended up staying over there until 3am. When I got home, someone was parked in my parking spot, so I had to park pretty far from my apartment. I was so exhausted by the time I got into my apartment, that I decided against calling a tow truck. Instead, I just passed out. A little after 4am, Les called me yelling at me. He apparently had been pissed off earlier in the day, so he spent the rest of the day getting angrier and angrier. It took me a minute to realize what was going on. Then I started talking back to him, and he hung up on me. I was up for about an hour crying. He had never been so mean to me before. Finally around 5am I fell asleep.

I had so many plans for Saturday, but I ended up not doing any of them. I spent most of the day sleeping on and off, and moping around. I tried calling Les, but he didn’t answer. I tried to do some cleaning, but I didn’t get very far. So, the day was pretty much a waist.

Sunday I had to work. I stopped and got doughnuts before I went to work. I only had 3 tables, and I made $9. I don’t understand why it’s so slow. Thank goodness I don’t have to rely on that job to make rent. After work I met Mom at Farmers Market. I always thought it was bigger. I ended up getting strawberries, grapes, oranges, squash, eggplant, lemons, cilantro, and pineapple. I can’t wait to eat my pineapple! Then I went home and took a nap. I tried calling Les again and he answered. He was still pissed off at me. I finally ended it with him. I was starving when I woke up, so I went to Chipotle. I really needed to go to the store, but I didn’t want to. I finally talked myself into going at 9:30pm. I came home, put up my groceries and went to bed.

Today is one of those days where I just want to go back to bed and sleep all day. I’m feeling real down about Les. I hate that it had to end with us yelling at each other. But he said some real hurtful things that I can’t forget. I know that it would have never worked out, and that I would have never been happy, but he was my best friend for a year and a half. I talked to him everyday and did everything with him. It’s just hard to let all that go. I’m just sad that it’s over. That we will never be close again. I guess I’m in the breakup phase where you think “crap, what did I just do?” Why can’t your head and heart ever agree?

But, I do have a busy week ahead, so hopefully I won’t have too much time to sulk. Tuesday I have a wine tasting at The Bronx. Wednesday I have to work both jobs. Thursday is Showdown. Friday I have to work both jobs. Saturday is Casey’s wedding. And I have to work on Sunday. I also need to focus on my eating again. I got so sidetracked this past weekend. Kristin is going to come over tonight to go jogging with me. Maybe I can channel all of my feeling about Les into working out.

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